An Impressive Swan Song? Maybe no. Maybe yes.
A very long time ago when a single gal, I walked out of Handsome’s apartment, across a green space to his car. Little did I know, lurking in the grass was a deadly weapon. What, VB? A deadly weapon??!!!
Yes. But not quite like what you’re thinking. Hidden in the grass was a hole and as we strolled and talked while approaching his car, my right foot slid in the hole and I fell, hearing my ankle (yep, the one I damaged in high school) go pop-pop-pop.
I was aghast. The last thing I wanted was to fall and cry and hurt in front of a new guy I was dating.
Handsome was—and still is—a gentleman and helped me out of the hole. (It was deep enough to hold a small tree.) Well aware of what was going on with my ankle, I limped with his support to his car. He wanted to go to the ER, but I dissuaded him, saying I knew what to do—ice, pain reliever, prop foot on a pillow. I reclined in the seat and wham! I passed out.
Wasn’t I impressive?
LOL. Confession time—I put a similar incident in my romantic comedy short story, “Raving Beauty.” Here’s a fun snippet:
Using the skills I’d honed as an erstwhile fashion model in the golden days of college, I crossed the stage toward the podium, paused with hands on my hips. When the applause had died, I pivoted to move center stage. As my heel caught another divot, grace abandoned me. With a pop-pop-pop, my ankle bowed cockeye, and this time, my worst nightmare came true. I tumbled over the edge of the stage.
Landing flat on my flipside, I blinked vacantly at the acoustical tile ceiling. Somewhere in my stupor, I heard a chorus of gasps, a pounding of feet, and someone hurdling over the rows of chairs, launching to my side. A hand swept along my face and down my arm, pausing intermittently to compress. I fluttered my eyes once. Twice. When able to focus a third time, I stared into the grass-green irises of Ben Stewart.
“Don’t move, Kelly,” he ordered. “Are you hurt anywhere?”
Please, let me evaporate. And die.
Have you ever done an unintentional swan song to impress a date?
Award-winning and Amazon best-selling author, Vicki Batman, has sold many romantic comedy works to the True magazines, several publishers, and most recently, two romantic comedy mysteries to The Wild Rose Press. She is a member of Romance Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, and several writing groups. An avid Jazzerciser. Handbag lover. Mahjong player. Yoga practitioner. Movie fan. Book devourer. Chocaholic. Best Mom ever. And adores Handsome Hubby. Most days begin with her hands set to the keyboard and thinking “What if??”
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