FLY WITH ME
This story is still a WIP, so critique away. It’s set partly in Melbourne, Australia, and in New Zealand.
Thanks … and enjoy 🙂
“Anybody you can call?”
His voice was soothing, and when Tiffany met his eyes through the screen door, she noticed something in his eyes which conveyed trust. There was a need inside her to trust him. So much, but every fibre in her told her to not open the door. Never again would she let the police take her to the station and treat her like a criminal.
She bit her lip again, desperately trying to figure out whom to call, when she said, “My brother.”
Harris nodded. “Thomas Terrill was charged with possession of drugs last year. You are noted as a witness.” He paused, checked his little notepad, and continued. “He’s also known as Josh Ford.”
Leaning her head against the door, Tiffany took a deep breath to steady herself.
“Are you okay, Miss Brooks?” Harris asked.
“Please open the door,” Jones requested.
Holding up her hand, she replied, “I haven’t seen him since then. I have nothing to do with whatever trouble he’s in.” Tears started to trickle down her cheeks, and she took another two deep breaths before standing straight to meet Harris’ gaze. He searched her eyes before he assented with a nod and held up a business card.
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23 thoughts on “Snippet Sunday – FLY WITH ME – 04/09/2016 #romance #love #SnippetSunday”
Great snippet–I can understand how she wants to trust him, but is still afraid. Love that she’s also worried about her brother.
Thanks Nancy 🙂
Glad you liked it, Nancy. Thanks for dropping by.
I assume something has happened to her brother and she seems very upset already.
Less the brother, but somebody else. We’ll find out soon. Thanks for stopping by, Aurora.
Tense situation indeed! Very smoothly written snippet…
Thank you, Veronica. Much appreciated.
It sounds like they’re maybe not going to press her anymore. If so, I’m glad they’re backing off a bit.
They’re backing off, luckily … Thanks for stopping by PT.
Oh, what a position for her to be in! But I see why she wants to trust him, as he comes off very sympathetic and honest. Nice job!
Thanks, J Rose. Appreciate it.
It’s pretty easy for me to understand where she’s coming from, even though I’m sure I know only part of what is going on. FWIW, the ‘So much’ in the second paragraph threw me for a moment; I had to reread to figure out how it fit in.
Thanks for that, Ed. I’ll have a look and fix it. Really appreciated.
Tense! Will she trust him or not?
Thanks, Elaine. Tricky situation to be in, I’d say.
You made me feel for her, and I could see why she’d want to trust him. Great snippet.
Glad you liked it. Thanks, Joyce
She’s going to have to open that door to take the business card. Or he can just place it under the mat or slide it under the door, of course, which I have a feeling she’ll want instead. Poor girl, I wonder if she’ll come to trust him or not. This must be so hard on her.
It is hard. Thanks for stopping by.
I could sense her fear and I don’t blame her. Will she open the door to take the business card?
We’ll find out soon. Thanks for stopping by, Karen.
Lots of visual communication going on here and her pain is quite palpable, great snippet. (I think she should trust her judgement if she reads trust in his eyes)
Let’s see …. thanks for stopping by, Chelle 🙂