FLY WITH ME
This is Tiffany’s story, who receives a call from the police one morning forcing her to deal with a chapter from her past, which she is unhappy to revisit. When she calls her friend Dylan, it’s Mat from New Zealand she ends up talking to.
This is still a WIP, so critique away. It’s set
partly in Melbourne, Australia, and in New Zealand.
Thanks … and enjoy 🙂
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Mat’s laughter echoed in the small car as he turned off the engine and got out. With a few long strides, he headed towards the café. “Does Jess know about her?”
There was a groan on the other end of the line. “You start any rumours and I will kill you.”
As he stepped inside the cafe, Mat replied, “In all seriousness, mate, Tiffany was desperate to talk to you. You’d better give her a call, aye.”
“I’ve already talked to her, but I don’t—”
“I’m glad she was able to get hold of you. It was obvious she needed to talk to you.”
Mat held his phone away for a moment, smiled at the young woman behind the counter, and ordered his coffee.
”You’re still there?” Dylan asked with a loud voice.
Mat shook his head with a smile and explained. “Mate, I’d say even in Australia it’s considered rude to talk on the phone while ordering your coffee.”
His friend’s resigned sigh gave him another chuckle.
“Mate, if you’ve already talked to her, we’re all good, aye.”
“To be frank, I’m completely lost here. How the hell do you know about Tiff? Give me the courtesy and give me a quick run down of what’s happened.”
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Ordering coffee without even a “hang on a sec?”. Mat, where are your manners?
Man, written language is weird. I know how the aye is supposed to sound, but whenever I see it written, I can’t help but read it as in how a pirate or a scotsman would pronounce it. I’ve always written it as “ay”.
Thanks for the feedback. I do appreciate it, esp the thing about the “aye / ay”. 🙂
Dylan seems to be so frustrated with Mat, it’s too funny.
LOL … some conversations over the phone can be weird, cant’ they 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, Linda. Much appreciated.
More romantic complications?
Yes …actually, I’m not sure … LOL … Thanks for stopping by, Aurora!
Kind of a confusing conversation but it was supposed to be, yes? Because each man is a bit confused as what’s going on…so that came through clearly LOL. Plus we’re reading it out of context with the whole story, so I’m sure it flows just fine. I have been enjoying the story as you’ve shared it, don’t mean to sound critical here!
I think it’s confusing, because I’m feeding you only little bits every couple of weeks. Hopefully, it’ll all make sense when you read it in one go …. Thanks, Veronica!
Sounds like they’re not quite having the same conversation about Tiffany.
You know me and my stories too well 🙂 It seems that way, indeed. Thanks for stopping by, PT
Ooh, juicy exchange between these two. And gee willakers, everyone knows you don’t get on the phone while ordering coffee. Ha. Great snippet, really enjoyed it.
Really glad you enjoyed it, Janell. Thanks for stopping by. Much appreciated!
I liked the conversation. Plus it definitely sounds Australian I would think.
Oh great! thank you. I like it when it sounds local … gives it that little something 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, Patricia!
I liked the line about rudeness ‘even in Australia’. Do Australians have a reputation for rudeness? I never knew that — but then, since I moved to the States from Canada, I never meet them any more.
Back to your snippet. You’ve done a good job of showing how these two are sort of, but not quite, on the same wavelength.
No, there was no intentions of indicating Australians are rude, because they’re not. It was meant more to be one friend teasing another one! Thanks for picking up on it, I might have to “smoothen” it a little 🙂